Sweaters

It's sweater weather out there.  Don't mess it up.

NO

Always have the shirt collar inside the sweater collar.  If not, your sweater looks like a striped vampire.

Also, don't have eyes that look like you just did heroin then cried.  

YES

See how much better that looks.  

And that hair....

NO

Always tuck your shirt in.  You look like your 8th grade nephew if you don't.

YES

Better.  People will think you're a professional, and try and buy stocks and bonds from you.  

NO

Sweaters should almost always have a collared shirt underneath, but v-necks ALWAYS should.

You're Joey from friends if you don't.

You're my ideal father if you do.

DEAR GOD NO

Loose ties look terrible always, especially underneath a sweater.

YES

There he is.  There's that guy that everyone respects and loves and fears and envies and lusts after.

And remember:  Girls can break all these rules.  Because they are girls, and they are pretty.

Ed Harcourt - Visit from the Dead Dog

RIP Scout

The Wolf of Wall Street

Who'da thought the "Ask me about my wiener" kid would have two best supporting actor nominations by 2014?

Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Steve Earle

"...Aint nobody's business kid, where I keep my money hid..."

Podiatric Culture

Having PENNIES in your PENNY loafers is BORING.  Boring like the strawberry hard candy your grandpa carries in his pocket.  Boring like the Law and Order courtroom scenes when you're 9.  Boring like white people dances.  

It's time to change out your currency.

European coinage, you're a snob.  Asian, you're a nerd.  Pesos are your best bet.  

They say: Hey, I'm fun, and different, and down to earth, but still fun, and have possibly smuggled cocaine.  

Gracias for asking.

Los Campesinos-By Your Hand

"...remember what your heart is for..."

Go See: Mud

Matthew McConaughey is a badass.  A filthy, snaggletoothed, murderous, Reese Witherspoon loving, living in a boat in a tree badass.