Having PENNIES in your PENNY loafers is BORING. Boring like the strawberry hard candy your grandpa carries in his pocket. Boring like the Law and Order courtroom scenes when you're 9. Boring like white people dances.
It's time to change out your currency.
European coinage, you're a snob. Asian, you're a nerd. Pesos are your best bet.
They say: Hey, I'm fun, and different, and down to earth, but still fun, and have possibly smuggled cocaine.
As the golf word descends upon GA this weekend for what is the most important tournament God ever made, let us all take a moment to remember the magic that occurred at Augusta last year.
Bubba Watson attempts to become the first back to back Masters winner since Tiger Woods in '01 and '02, but it will not come easy. With a field comprised of names like Mcilroy, Mickelson, and Rose, this year's green jacket could go to anyone. Oh, and that Tiger guy. He's playing. And he's not bad at golf.
There is a person walking this earth right now named Bradford Cox. He is 6’4’’ and looks like this shirtless. He’s in a band called Deerhunter. He also releases solo music under the moniker Atlas Sound. Both entities are really, really good.
I ran into him at the Lennox Mall in Atlanta once. As I exited a store, he breezed by, a phone to his ear and a bag over his shoulder. I stopped dead in my tracks, turned to my boo, and whisper screamed “That’s that dude from Atlas Sound and Deerhunter!”. Then we both shouted “Braaaaaaadfoooooooorrrrrrrddddddddd”, and he heard us. He stopped, turned back, smiled, and said, “This never happened, you are way too shy of a human to talk to ANY stranger, much less someone you perceive as a celebrity. And you, YOU?!, shouted across a mall full of people that judge people that shout across malls? Pahlease”. To which I replied, “You’re right. But I did see you at the mall. I didn’t say anything. But I did see you though.” And he said “Yup. Cool.”
