The Mayans tell me that 2012 is the last year I will have on this earth. With that being the case, I have decided to forgo the typical “resolution”. With the world’s demise now just under a year away, I see no need in eating better or cursing less. Instead, I have decided to set a list of lofty goals that I hope to accomplish before our time here is done.
Here’s what to expect from me in 2012:
Play Matthew McConaughey’s little brother in a romantic comedy
Smile more than anyone ever
Fight UFC
Write for NBC’s Community
Bring the phrase “Talk to the hand” back to prominence
Fornicate with Debbie Harry
Try Rogaine
Win Cycle 18 of America’s Next Top Model
Make stars out of Spanish children
Sell a kidney
Make Justin Bieber jealous
Finish 2nd in the Hiesman Trophy voting
Guest judge an episode of Top Chef
Babysit Apple and Moses Martin
As you can see, I am going to have a busy final year on earth.
Wish me luck.
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